Advice

As the semester is winding down, I look back and see all the fun I could have had if only I went out and did X, Y, Z. In a better state of mind, I would have gone out more. I would have better stories to tell for this blog. However, due to circumstance but not location (the city itself is not to blame - Montreal is a fascinating place), I was not in the best state of mind. Nevertheless, I've learned a lot.

So...
Dear prospective Champlain College Montreal students,

I have some words of wisdom to impart onto you.

First of all, don't do what I did. There is time to read web comics, catch up on television shows, and play Call of Duty when you're back in the states. You have this chance to live and work and play in a thriving and lively multicultural metropolis - for many of you that may be a once in a lifetime chance.

Here are some things you should know on how to make the most of your time here:

The Champlain students tend to flock together. You can see them Monday through Friday flocking up and down Sherbrooke, going between UQAM and the Academic Center. But be one with the flock. Flock with the flock. Make friends with the members of the flock, because you'll be seeing these people nearly every day for the next three and a half months. I make it sound like a prison sentence, but really you're going to have a lot of fun and memorable times with the other Champlainers if you just put yourself out there a little. But I encourage you to branch out from the flock as well. UQAM is full of international students, so take advantage of it and mingle. Most of the students you meet will probably know more French than English, but language barriers are half the fun. In the first week here I met a gay French model named Mika (French as in from France, not French Canadian). He and his friends really live the life in Montreal. They go out until four AM every night, wake up in the afternoon every day, eat one meal, go to work, and go out and do it all over again.

I advise you to go out on the town, explore, and talk with Montrealers even though you may have to tell them: "Je ne parle pas francais, je parle anglais. Je suis Americaine!" On second thought, perhaps you should leave out the "je suis Americaine" bit. But chat, get out of your comfort zone.

Montreal is a good-sized city, so there's bound to be great shows no matter what music scene you're into. Gorillaz played up here earlier in the semester. I'm not the kind to go out clubbing (although there was that one time at Club 1234...), but techno and house music are big here, as they are in just about every major city in North America and Europe these days. Apparently there's also a metal scene, but the funny thing is I haven't seen many metal-heads around. Then again, I haven't spent my time here actively seeking them out. For any of you interested in post-rock, Godspeed You Black Emperor and A Silver Mount Zion are from the area, but unfortunately they haven't been playing shows for a while. The Tam Tams festival is a non-stop tribal jam with a lot of interesting characters in the mix, and besides, the park is a nice place to hang out on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I strongly encourage you to go, and moreover, I encourage you to buy a bongo and participate. If jazz is more your style, there's a huge international jazz festival in the summer that's worth a weekend visit. The Champlain gang here also really got into a jazz group that played at a little place nearby called L'Absynthe.

Also: Film festivals. It seems like there's pretty much one going on all the time in Montreal. So if Hollywood's high-budget special effects and completely unoriginal writing (these days it is particularly horrendous in my opinion) isn't cutting it for you, give some indie films a chance.

There's nothing worse than bad poutine, and it's not great everywhere you go. The strange thing is that the best poutine comes from the most unlikely, rundown joints in the city. That's where you get the greasiest, cheesiest, thickest batter, curds, and gravy all rolled into a pile of savory goodness. It sounds nasty and when you eat it you might start to feel your heart clog up, but not to worry, this is a perfectly normal side-effect of the poutine. Just beware of poutine overdose and poutine addiction, also known as a heart-attack and angina pectoris (respectively) in medical terms. You only live once and there's nothing better than a great dish of poutine. But for starters, try the kind they serve at Frite Alors and you can't go wrong.

Tim Hortons makes alright cheap coffee. I prefer it over the sugary-liquid-that-resembles-coffee that you get at Dunkin Donuts. Van Houtte is better than Tim Hortons, Second Cup is better than Van Houtte, and I've never been to Cafe Depot so I don't know where that one fits into the hierarchy. But if you want coffee with class, there are plenty of independent coffee shops and diners in the area - a whole lot around McGill and even more if you venture north towards the Mile End. You won't find as many Starbucks around here as in the states, but I mean, it's Starbucks - there's always one or two or three around somewhere, and they're usually right across the street from one another. But Tim Hortons is everywhere. No joke, they run the city. Also, Tim Hortons has little round doughnut balls like Dunkin Donuts has Munchkins... only Tim Hortons doesn't call them Munchkins. They call them... Timbits. You see, this is the essential kind of knowledge you'll need to survive in Montreal. Timbits, folks, not Munchkins.

Chinatown has a lot of Asian cuisine restaurants, and I mean a lot. So good luck finding out which ones are good and which ones are bad because you can never tell just from looking at the place. It's a challenge. La Maison Kam Fung is a little expensive, but they have more fancy and high quality food (the kind where you actually have to sit down and eat, not take-out).

A pint of Ben & Jerry's can cost you seven or eight dollars, so find another way to satisfy the craving for Chunky Monkey until you're back in Vermont.

As an informational bit for grocery shopping: IGA has higher quality food and cheap meat, but everything else there is expensive (especially cheese... why? Not a clue). Provigo is cheaper, and there are also discounts on Mondays. If you shop at Provigo you'll see this "Sans Nom" brand in yellow packaging everywhere. That's typically the best deal you're going to find, and some of their products aren't half bad (such as their sharp cheddar cheese). But Sans Nom is remarkably cheap, which makes it... Idunno, "fishy." I don't trust it (but I still buy the cheese). There's an IGA and a Provigo right near the UQAM Residence Hall, but if you're a food skeptic like me, you may want to look elsewhere for local and high quality foods. Atwater Market is a ways away and you'll need to take the Metro to station Lionel Groulx, but it's the place where you'll find some of the best meat, fish, and produce in town. I heard Marche Jean-Talon also had a wide selection of fresh and local goods, but it's somewhere even further away in the Mile End.

Anyways, back to fun stuff:

Most people will tell you that Saint Catherine is the main street, others will say Saint Laurent. Saint Laurent is more of a cultural and historic boulevard as it once divided the city with Francophones in the east and Anglophones in the west. On the other hand, Saint Catherine is more of a neverending commercial strip filled with restaurants and bars and trinket stores and well, mostly sex shops and strip clubs, at least in the downtown area. But there are many sides to Saint Catherine. It's a jungle of a main drag. The Gay Village of Montreal is on the East side of Saint Catherine, and whether you're gay or straight I encourage you to see the bars, clubs, and shops in the area. For straights, it offers you a different perspective, but just beware... whether you're male or female, gay or straight, you will probably be hit on. For most of us that's going a little too far out of the comfort zone. There's more than just gay culture in Le Village, it's come to represent acceptance of all alternative sexual tastes and preferences. So there are gays and lesbians, but then you also have transvestites, transexuals, and a diverse array of LGBT subcultures. For other major streets, also see Saint Denis and Rue Crescent for fun restaurants and shops. The "Historic" Old Port is actually quite small and it's usually filled with rich American tourists who want to ride around in pretty horse drawn carriages. With the tourism overload it's not so historic anymore. It's overrated in my opinion, but check out the cobblestone streets anyways. Rue Saint Paul in Old Montreal is lined with about a dozen art galleries - mostly with touristy and contemporary paintings, but it's still worth a look. The most interesting art you'll find will actually be in trendy coffee shops and elusive galleries - places you have to discover. So if you truly want to be adventurous, go beyond the places listed here and find somewhere new. You will realize in time that there is more to Montreal than meets the eye - keep in mind that there is a massive and bustling Underground City with a dizzying amount of shops, services, cafes, and fast food bars. At first it may seem hard to find La Ville Souterraine if you don't know where to look, but once you enter the labyrinth it's easy to get lost. There's also more to Montreal than downtown. The Mile End is not just a bunch of boring suburbs. Venture out there and you'll notice right away that Mile Enders are a very interesting bunch. The hipsters, artists, hippies, and other bike-riding, plaid-wearing, guitar-slung-over-the-shoulder counterculture figures that didn't quite fit in with downtown Montreal have all congregated in this lively and colorful neighborhood. If I could choose to live anywhere in the city, it would be here. The artsy outcasts and weirdos of the Mile End will remind you a bit of Burlington at first, but this is all blended with a Hassidic Jewish population and minorities of all different cultures.

For the most part, Montreal is a peaceful city. It's illegal to carry a knife around here. You'll see very few police cruisers compared to in the states, but that's simply because in the supply and demand of crime and punishment, Montreal needs fewer officers because they have fewer criminals. I have heard that there are gangs here and that there is a mafia, but they've never bothered me. I've never seen them. There are groups of homeless people and they may hound you for money, but most of them won't chase you down to collect it (although that did happen to me once). In all honesty, I've met sketchier strangers in downtown Burlington, and never once have I felt threatened in my twilight excursions about Montreal. But bad things do happen. People get mugged. Or worse. So just be careful. Once again, don't do what I do. Go out with others.

That's all I have to tell you for now. The best advice I can give you is simply to be mindful and to be merry. Find the right balance between work and play and you'll have the time to pass all of your courses with flying colors, meet eccentric and lovely people, explore all of Montreal, and have crazy adventures to tell your friends, children, grandchildren, and so forth ("Remember that time in Montreal when..."). I know this sounds cliche, but it's true: it's a world full of opportunities. But it's only as exciting as you make it, and if you get out there you'll learn just as much outside of class as in class.